Do counsellors and therapists also have problems in life? 

What do counsellors and therapists do when they have problems in their own lives?

Professional Counsellors and Therapists are “surprisingly” – “people after all”.

It is like – just because a person is a doctor doesn’t mean that they will not have any physical ailments or get any diseases.  Yes, since the person is a doctor, the awareness of the ailment may be more and they could seek appropriate help/treatment earlier.

Likewise, counsellors and therapists also will have their own problems in life as well. They could face challenges wrt their health, family, relationships/marriage, children/parenting, financial troubles, ageing and life stage related issues and so on.  Professional counsellors and therapists do strive to address the challenges in their lives at the earliest possible by either through introspection, problem solving or through self work, personal growth with their own therapists etc.

They are continuously on the path of self growth and self improvement in their own personal lives as well.  Their professional boundaries, when they are in the therapist’s seat, typically do not allow them to bring up any personal situations to a client unless it is of significant therapeutic value to the client. What it means is that the therapist does not discuss and disclose one’s own personal challenges and situations with the client as a general rule.

When the counsellor is facing any kind of personal crises or tragedy they are usually recommended to take a break and recover from the same before they can continue work with clients. It is important and an ethical requirement for the therapist to ensure that their personal crises do not in any way affect the quality of therapy that they are providing to the clients as well as not interfere in the process as well.

What’s important is whether the counsellor is able to establish a good therapeutic relationship with the client. Is the counsellor able to keep their own personal thoughts, positions, opinions, personal situations etc., distinct from the therapeutic dialogue? Is the counsellor able to maintain an objective stance aligned towards the client goals?

In their own personal work and growth process, the counsellor is able to identify understand and address, to deal with or cope with their own personal challenges.  With this foundation in place the therapist can move forward and facilitate the process of change as chosen by the client towards the client goals.

To accomplish these, professional counsellors and therapists need to follow certain things regularly.

1. Be aware of their own challenges

The counsellor needs to have a certain level of self awareness to know what are their strengths and weaknesses, what are the problems that they are facing in their lives and have the strength and conviction to work on those problems.

2. Strive to address them personal introspection, personal therapy for themselves

Counsellors are expected to be in personal therapy themselves with their own therapist. There is a lot of introspection, awareness, self work involved.  There needs to be a continuous process of self improvement and personal growth.

3. Be aware of any parallel conditions/processes

Counsellors/therapists need to be aware of any parallel situations/processes that come up for them when they are providing therapy for their clients.  If the therapist had lost their parent as a child and a client brings in a similar issue, and if the therapist is impacted by the same or relates to the client more than the therapeutic relationship, then take such cases for supervision with a senior Counsellor

4. Engage in self care activities

Ensure that they take care of themselves.  Self care strategies could range from taking a break, travelling, meditation, exercise, mindfulness, engage in other areas of interest and hobbies, foster a healthy social circle including family, friends and professional connects etc,  to rejuvenate themselves, to gain a healthy perspective, be in a positive frame as required.  These will help therapists also avoid burnout and over extending themselves.

About the Author:

Kala Balasubramanian is certified Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. As a professional counsellor she provides a supportive, understanding, professional and confidential environment to work with clients – Individuals and Couples explore their emotions, help them understand and manage their challenges, relationships and stress better.