Powerful impact of pre-marital counselling in these changing times

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Pre-Marital Counselling and Family Well-Being
Panel discussion on Pre-Marital Counselling and Family Well-Being at CHRIST (Deemed to be University)

Panel Discussion on Pre-Marital Counselling and Family Well-Being. I had the privilege of being invited as a panellist by the Gender Studies Committee at the School of Law, CHRIST (Deemed to be University),  for a panel discussion on “Pre-Marital Counselling and Family Well-Being”. This was organized as part of the International Women’s Day celebrations,  EMPOW(H)ER on March 10th, 2025.

We explored the role of pre-marital counselling in building healthy relationships, strategies for preparing for marital harmony, ensuring both emotional and financial preparedness in relationships etc.

The panel included esteemed professionals and a moderator to facilitate the discussion.

  • Ms. Neelam Kamall, a mental health counsellor and mediator at Looking Glass
  • Ms. Latha Prasad, a senior lawyer and mediator at the Bangalore Mediation Centre
  • Ms. Kala Balasubramanian a Psychologist and Psychotherapist – Founder of Inner Dawn Counselling.
  • Ms Siri a Lawyer and POSH expert – Moderator.

Our discussion focused on the growing relevance of pre-marital counselling in today’s society. As social beings, humans are naturally wired to seek connection and relationships. Pre-marital counselling provides valuable support to individuals and couples (whether in cis-heterosexual or LGBTQI+ relationships) who are navigating their journey toward long-term commitment or marriage. It is particularly beneficial for:

  • Couples considering marriage or a committed partnership.
  • Those seeking to address relationship concerns before making a long-term commitment.
  • Couples in a relationship who want to resolve any prevailing issues.
  • Clients entering an arranged marriage who wish to look for compatibility and be prepared for potential challenges.
  • Individual clients looking for clarity on their expectations, addressing their fears and doubts if any etc.

The Role and Benefits of Pre-Marital Counselling

Today the definitions of relationships and marriage have changed; gender roles are in the process of change. Monogamy, ethical non-monogamy, and other types of relationships have emerged. And as always, change also brings in a resistance to change as well. Given this changing landscape, pre-marital counselling helps individuals and couples develop a deeper understanding of self and each other by exploring key aspects of their relationship, including:

✔ Assessing Compatibility – Exploring shared values, expectations, and emotional connection
✔ Communication – Effective communication and emotional literacy skills
✔ Conflict Resolution – Healthy ways to navigate disagreements and strengthen the relationship
✔ Discuss Key Life Aspects – Discussion on finances, boundaries, future goals, physical intimacy, parenting expectations etc.

A skilled counsellor facilitates this process using open-ended questions, reflective exercises, and guided discussions to foster mutual understanding and empathy. Active listening, paraphrasing, and empathic responses help model effective communication and emotional connection.

The lawyers and mediators on the panel discussed about how the mediation process can help resolve conflicts and how pre-marital counselling can help in being prepared for marital life and avoiding a lot of pain and challenges upfront.

Key Insights from the Panel Discussion

The panel also explored the importance of:

  • Neutrality in Counselling & Mediation – A counsellor or mediator must remain impartial to create a safe space for all clients
  • Empathy and Active Listening – Patience and deep listening are essential in understanding clients’ perspectives
  • Communication as a Life Skill – Effective communication and conflict resolution are crucial not only for couples but for all interpersonal relationships
  • Pre-Marital Counselling for Diverse Relationships – Support is valuable for all individuals, couples, including LGBTQI+ couples and those planning for arranged marriages
  • Proactive Relationship Building – Addressing potential challenges early can help strengthen relationships and foster long-term well-being

This discussion underscored the value of equipping individuals and couples with the tools to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

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