3 areas to proactively handle in these lockdown times. Support yourselves with Online Counselling

These are difficult times for the entire human community with respect to the current Coronavirus situation.  Entire countries are under lockdown, businesses and establishments other than essential ones have been asked to operate remotely or pause, people are struggling to get essential commodities, education institutions and entertainment centres are all shutdown, finance markets have taken a hit.  The normal sense of life has definitely been disrupted for now.

The new set of circumstances can definitely have an adverse impact on mental and emotional well being if there are no healthy problem solving and adaptive coping mechanisms in place.

Parents being cooped in with their children at home 24*7 for weeks together can get them stressed out. Parents stress themselves out when they run out of options to keep the children occupied.

Couples staying together may find that the issues that were swept under the carpet all these times tend to come up again aggravating the already difficult circumstances.

Not having any house/domestic help has highlighted the still existing major gaps in gender roles and responsibilities in the household in many families, leading to more stress and tension among the family members. 

These could be above and beyond the practical difficulties, fears, anxieties and worries regarding the Coronavirus pandemic.

Three areas where you can take action to feel more in control of the situation rather than get overwhelmed.

1. Parenting challenges

Be kinder to yourself. Don’t make it your responsibility to keep your children occupied all the time.  You will exhaust yourself in that pursuit. Talk to your children.  Explain the situation to them as they can understand.  Let children also take some responsibility to keep themselves occupied.  And it is ok for them to feel bored sometimes. Engage them in house hold work age appropriately but with no gender discrimination. Talk to your partner and be on the same page with respect to handling the children. Different messages from parents or parental figures don’t work well with children. 

2. Relationship with your partner/spouse

Having to stay indoors with your partner 24/7 can lead to some intimate moments, but also can bring up old forgotten issues, cause frequent flare ups and escalating conflicts. This might be a good time to sit down and have a real conversation with your partner and establish certain ground rules that will keep the both of you emotionally calm and able to handle the day-to-day challenges together. Rather than blaming and accusing your partner, enlist their support in setting up these healthy boundaries to handle the challenges together as a team rather than against each other. Arrive at an agreement like – this is not a good time to bring up old issues that are bound to only aggravate the current circumstances. Take a Time Out if things escalate between the two of you.  A Time Out is a time period that you take to calm yourself down and once that time limit is elapsed you come back and continue that conversation and see if you can arrive at a solution that works reasonably for the both of you.

3. Household responsibilities

Having domestic help has been a significant advantage that many families have enjoyed, which might not available in the current circumstances. What happens to these household responsibilities and how is it shared among the partners?  Yes you can go back to how you were brought up, whether you are used to performing household chores etc, but that is not going to help your current situation. New set of circumstances would need a new set of adjustments and sharing of responsibilities. Having a conversation proactively with your partner to understand how you can help, and acting accordingly can significantly boost your relationship bonding. If your partner is not proactive in offering to take up household chores initiate a conversation in a calm manner (rather than start with a set of complaints and accusations) to talk, discuss and arrive at a new understanding of sharing of responsibilities. 

Challenges can also be seen as tremendous opportunities. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the opportunity for growth.  The new lessons learnt and changes made within the family during these trying circumstances can be significant game changers for you and your family.

Yes, apart from these you can engage in meditation, hobbies, reading, movies, catch up over phone or online with friends and families, renew long lost friendships, exercise, online courses etc with your extra time. 

Of course if things get overwhelming or difficult, you can seek professional help, be it counselling or therapy online to get support during these times.  Counselling or therapy over a video call can be as effective and can give you that support that you need in these trying times.  Counselling can be provided for individuals and couples over Video calls.

Reach us at +919632146316 or write to us at counselor@innerdawn.in. We provide online counselling over video calls for individuals and couples