Facing tough times in life 7 ways to keep your head above troubled waters
Facing tough times in life? 7 ways to keep your head above troubled waters.
Are you facing difficult times in life. At every turn do you find life throwing curve-ball challenges at you? You address one issue and another crop up at its place? Are you finding it difficult to stay positive?
7 ways to keep your head above the stormy waters and to keep yourself afloat.
- Keep your sense of self intact.
The problems that you are facing do not define you. You were present before the problem and you will after the problem as well. Do not let your problems or failures define what your worth is. Your worth is intrinsic and is not transactional. - Give time for Self care.
If you have been running around addressing the issues, focusing on the problems, handling the consequences etc, it is time that you give some priority to yourself and to take care of yourself. Self care can start from something as simple as closing your eyes in a calm place or listening to soothing music, or a nice long bath, having your favourite food, or even a break or vacation. Pick and choose as appropriate to your constraints, but it is absolutely possible to give some time and effort to self care - Gain perspective.
Ask yourself if this would really matter to you 10 years or 20 years down the line. Ask yourself when was the last time you faced a situation when you felt in a similar fashion and how did you overcome the same. Problems need to be solved, but you don’t have to beat yourself for the same. - Identify if u need to deal or cope with your problem.
Understand the challenge better to find whether it can be dealt with, that is if you can change the circumstances or solve the problem. And if that is not possible then you need to learn to cope with the problem where by you need to look for and identify resources within yourself as well as around you to help cope adaptively. - Seek support.
Seek appropriate support that you may need amongst family, friends support groups or a therapist as appropriate. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness. As a matter of fact seeking support means that you value yourself and that you trust the people around you appropriately. - Take one step at a time. Make progress in small increments.
It is very common for people to wish for a magical solution to their problems, instant remedies, one step resolution of the problem. Sadly that might not be possible most of the times. Make incremental progress, take small steps but in a consistent manner so that you move from problem to solution gradually but consistently. Failures in small incremental steps can be rectified more easily than making a drastic mistake. Take appropriate risks as needed. - Appreciate what you have. Practice gratitude.
Gratitude is a practice that you can build up. Find small little things to be grateful for even during the most difficult circumstances. This pushes you to look for even for a minute positive aspect of your day or your environment and moves you into a positive frame.
Here I quote a few lines from one of the popular songs by Coldplay -Paradise
Life goes on it gets on it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly every tear a waterfall
In the night the Stormy night she will close her eyes
In the night the Stormy night away she flies
And dream of of Paradise…
And so lying underneath those Stormy skies
She would say – O I know the Sun must set to rise.
The Sun needs to set before it can rise again. We need to fall to get up again stronger, wiser. We need to get hurt, experience failure and loss to appreciate what we have better. It is for us to leverage our experiences, and suffering – though painful, but they are crucial to can propel ourselves towards our own personal growth.
About the Author:
Kala Balasubramanian is certified Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. As a professional counsellor she provides a supportive, understanding, professional and confidential environment to work with clients – Individuals and Couples explore their emotions, help them understand and manage their challenges, relationships and stress better.