Fights with your partner : 5 effective ways to defuse the situation and to patch up.
Do you fight a lot with your partner? 5 effective ways to defuse the situation and to patch up.
It is very common in couples to have a lot of small and not so small fights, bickering, arguments, conflicts etc. It is normal to have disagreements and conflicts when you are in a relationship. But it is the way that you go about handling these conflicts that determines whether at the end of the day you feel closer to each other or feel torn apart.
It is important to ensure the conflict doesn’t escalate or you don’t use any abusive languages are disrespectful words or behaviour during the conflict.
You can read about effective ways of dealing with the conflict in my previous article over here.
Let’s talk about how to defuse a situation and how to patch up in such a way that both the partners feel good about it.
1. Use a sense of humour.
Arguments and disagreements need not escalate into fights and conflicts. Bring in humour into the equation, laugh and make your partner laugh as well. Take important things seriously, take your partner seriously but do it with smile and laughter.
2. Do not take offence on everything.
Understand your partner’s mode of communication and style of communication. Understand that sometimes things might be said in anger or frustration and not with malicious intent. And sometimes things could be misunderstood which can be addressed by asking for a clarification and expressing how you feel about it rather than taking offence about it and holding it against that other person. As mentioned earlier laugh it up if possible.
3. Apologize easily.
Make it a point to apologize easily to your partner. Make the words sorry and thank you a frequent part of your communication. If both of you are able to apologize easily to each other you avoid a lot of games that people play to get an apology from the other. This can calm down the both of you as well as avoid escalations. If you did say or did something hurtful to your partner, own it up and apologize, rather than justifying or blaming your partner. Make up for the hurt caused. Make it a point not to do it again.
4. Keep your ego away.
It is perfectly Ok to have a healthy argument or a disagreement. It is not essential for you to win each argument or convince your partner to your point of view or to be right every time . Have the grace to admit if you are wrong as well. Do not allow your ego to play spoil sport in your relationship.
5. Be childlike with each other.
There is a significant difference between being childish and childlike. Couples can feel a lot more closer and connected if they can be childlike with each other. Children laugh a lot, play a lot, bicker a lot, but also forgive and forget very quickly and move on after they fight. Children express their affection a lot more openly and also do not shy away from communicating openly. Learn to be child like, open, affectionate, appreciative, forgiving, enthusiastic and fun loving.
About the Author:
Kala Balasubramanian is certified Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. As a professional counsellor she provides a supportive, understanding, professional and confidential environment to work with clients – Individuals and Couples explore their emotions, help them understand and manage their challenges, relationships and stress better.