How to make decisions in such a way to not regret them
Decisions are inevitable in life. Each and every one of us have to make certain decisions, be it small or significant at various points in life. And every decision has its consequences, especially the major ones. Some consequences may be positive and some consequences may be negative. When most of the consequences are positive and are far greater than the negative then we usually don’t look back on our decisions or have any regrets there. When the negative consequences over-weigh the positives of a given decision then it is human tendency to look back at the decision and regret the same.
Decisions could be about a job, about grabbing opportunities in life, relationships, pursuing your dream and so on. And sadly, there is no fool proof formula that every decision that you make will have only majorly positive outcomes.
So how to make decisions so that you don’t regret them. Decisions have 4 steps.
- Understanding the situation for the decision. I call it love “what” part of the decision. This includes understanding the situation/challenge, finding different aspects and perspectives.
- Understanding the need for the decision. I call it “whether” part of the decision, whether you want to take a decision, take an action to address the challenge.
- Analysing and finalising how the decision need to be implemented. I call it the “how” part of the decision. This includes arriving at multiple options that are possible and feasible, understanding the pros and cons of each of the options available for the decision, and choosing one option.
- Implementation of the decision.
No matter how much you understand the situation analyse the situation and identify the steps involved etc, unless you implement a decision, the decision is incomplete or not done yet.
In short term, if the option doesn’t work out, you can try other options, if you have a choice to try other options and see what works best.
In long term, when you finalize a particular decision, if you are able to follow these steps, it is what is called an informed decision. It means you have identified and listed out all the relevant information background that are involved, that are relevant to this decision. Once you listed out the options, you have analysed the pros and cons of each one of the option involved. I usually tell my clients who want to make a decision to put this down in a notebook or in electronic form somewhere, so it is available for them at any point of time, down the line.
It is part of the innate human nature to look back in time and ask ourselves “why did I make that decision ?”, if the consequences are overarchingly negative. When you follow the process as above you will be able to successfully tell your future self, that based upon the data available at that point of time I made that informed choice. And that it is OK for me to re-look and review my decision based upon the current information/data points available, if the outcome of the previous decision is significantly negative or damaging.
This process gives you the power to make decisions and accept the consequences and if needed re-decide, when needed and appropriate, rather than regretting and beating yourself up for a decision that may have turned out have an undesirable outcome.
About the Author:
Kala Balasubramanian is certified Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. She provides a supportive, understanding, professional and confidential environment to work with clients – Individuals and Couples explore their emotions, help them understand and manage their challenges, relationships and stress better.