Appreciate what you have, when you have, not when it is gone or lost.
Many of us would have experienced this – of not enjoying the moment, not appreciating what we have, but later on regretting not having done the same. This habit of not appreciating what we have with us, until the time we lose it, is the one most painful ones and difficult to break and can make life so unfulfilling.
What makes us realize the importance of something, only after we have lost it or about to lose it? Why are things more clear in retrospect, looking back, in hindsight? Why do we pine for a lost love, a lost opportunity, realize the importance of something that we had, so late, that it is already lost and it doesn’t matter anymore.
Looking back, we are able to realize that we were so distracted in the other things in life which are not as important, and didn’t give adequate, relevant importance and priority to what is important in our lives. We regret not making enough memories, not having spent enough time, not focusing enough on important aspects of life.
When it is it time to give importance to career, you find yourself focused and disturbed by the politics there in. When it is time to give importance to relationships, you see yourself giving away time on non value adding activities, people, social media, video games etc. How many times do you find yourself checking your phone, giving more importance to somebody’s message on a messenger app, than somebody sitting in front of you. trying to make a conversation with you? How many times have you cut short a conversation with a loved one, because you are missing a program on the TV?
You take things for granted. You assume that you will have what you have, forever, without needing to work towards taking care of it. Sometimes you postpone and procrastinate the effort that is needed or Underestimate the importance of someone or something for you.
Sometimes you don’t realize the value of what you have. Sometimes you may know and realize what you have but might assume that you will not lose it.
It is important to understand, what all really, is priority for you in your life. What really needs your time and attention, in such a way, that it enriches your life, adds value to your life, make some meaning out of your life, make sure life is worth living. This does not mean that you don’t spend time on entertainment or relaxation etc. It means that you don’t do it at the cost of damaging or ignoring what are really important in your life.
When you see things in retrospect, by looking back at the past, it is a chance, it’s an opportunity to learn. It’s an opportunity to appreciate the things you have in the present, which you might have failed to do earlier. It is an opportunity to learn and not make the same mistakes again.
Acknowledging what you have, feeling gratitude towards what you have and what you are blessed with, would be a good starting point. Investing the right amount of effort, focus and importance at the right time, is critical so that you are able to make adequate progress towards your own goals in life.
Focusing on what is important in life, awareness about the same, aligning efforts, focus and priorities accordingly would make a fulfilling life possible.
About the Author:
Kala Balasubramanian is certified Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. She provides a supportive, understanding, professional and confidential environment to work with clients – Individuals and Couples explore their emotions, help them understand and manage their challenges, relationships and stress better.